Drawing by @sunjiayi1995 on Instagram
…or how to survive when you work with a total ass hole and you can’t burn your employer down. 🔥
Just do what the title says, and you’ll be fine. Right? I’m fine. You’re fine. Cool! Not really.
Generally you can’t just quit a job when you work with someone that is a major jerk. In these baby, idyllic stages of starting this freelance business, I am ready to fire any client that doesn’t respect me. I have had enough deceitful bosses that bully me around (mostly some awesome ones though!). Since I don’t anticipate me treating myself that way, I just want my clients to treat me well!
I had this blog idea last week. Then, today I got my CO — STAR daily notification (pictured to the right), and I was like ‘oh hell yes - today is the day to write this!’ It’s important to note that the only notifications I get on my phone are CO — STAR and text messages. You will never see me with a lewd number of unread email alerts. (Cappin’ ain’t easy - I’m a Capricorn. I’ve written two business blogs. They both talk about my star sign.) Anyways, clearly I am into astrology.
So… no, feeling like shit at work is not solved with astrology. It’d be cool if it was. I’ve been in work situations that make me feel bad about myself. Make me doubt myself. Make me… GASP… cry in public! They are inevitable, but when there is a continuous issue, you’ve got to take care of yourself. Before you walk away, maybe try these ideas. (Disclaimer: There are many industries, careers, and systemic economic challenges that will not make these tips realistic. I understand that, but my audience is people that aren’t being valued AND respected AND have the resources to make a change.)
Know your worth
This starts with salary (or fee) negotiations. Know how much you NEED to make to feel financially secure. If it’s a fee based situation, how much do you need to make per project/hour/whatever you gauge your time in? If someone pays you lower than what you NEED to make, you will feel resentment at some point.
Now, literally, remind yourself you deserve to get paid AT LEAST what you need. Having an awesome network of friends or other professionals you feel comfortable discussing this with will help remind you when you get doubtful.
Over time, in the same business agreement, you should make more money. The value of the dollar goes down and to keep up you need at least a little extra ching ching each year. Don’t be afraid to ask, and if the answer is no over a long period of time, then just become a stripper. 😉
Advocate for yourself
This is communicating the worth you established in bullet #1 . SPEAK UP. When you’re in a challenging business situation, it is likely that no one else will do this for you. Make an appointment with your boss. They won’t listen? Go to HR! No changes? Legs and eggs it is! 👠🍳
Get comfortable saying no to tasks that aren’t your responsibility, you don’t have time for, or are a lower priority. No doesn’t have to mean never. Many times it’s just not right now.
Practice what you want to say and use notes. I have the worst memory, but notes and practicing what I’d like to say always help. Don’t be afraid to start a conversation with an email with the invitation for discussion. It can be a great way to carefully plan how to communicate your needs.
Set boundaries
You do not have to respond to work emails or texts outside of work hours. Relaxation time is important. Doing nothing is important. Burn out sucks. So whether you need to put the hammer down with your boss, client, or self, make time for exercise, friends, pets, and Netflix!
Understand the patterns of harmful personalities
Terms like bully, narcissist, borderline, etc get thrown around a lot, so don’t get wild here. However, some psychological knowledge can help you be more objective in situations that are upsetting. I have a therapist bestie and it’s literally the best. She doesn’t diagnose people, but she sure does ask the right questions to get my brain on track when needed. Highly recommend.
So if you’ve gotten this far, you know you need to worship the stars and practice your twerking. Easy. Good luck out there and you deserve everything you want. 💎xo